Family: A Connection to Our Past, Present, and Future

The first call I made after I knew Brandon had died was to my mom. I needed someone. Anyone.

I waited for more details before calling anyone else. The girls and I sat in silence, lost in our own thoughts. How much our lives changed in an instant.

But the one that that remained the same, other than our steadfast God, was family. They were there when we needed them the most.

Now, this is no small feet for my family because the nearest ones live nine hours away.

So a big part of this trip has been to go see them and it makes my heart smile to be with them. Family is so very important.

Family Helps You Connect to Your Past

On this trip, my dad took me to see parts of his life, which are also parts of my life. He took me to the place where he grew up. I got to see a building I had only heard about.

Background Story: I did not grow up with my father and his family around. I can remember meeting him at four and being very sad when he left, very protective over the things he bought me. At 11, I met him “officially” for the first time, getting to see him at Christmas and a phone call on my birthday until I was 16. We didn’t talk again until I was 25 and since then we have built a relationship.

He also showed me the property that his grandparents bought during the Great Depression, which is still being farmed by our kin to this day. It was really neat to have a connection here- to be able to tell people, “yes, that’s my family that owns that dairy farm over by XYZ Lake”.

Family Helps You Live In the Present

Two of the people who have been the most influential in my healing journey so far have been my mom and my sister. We haven’t made it to my sister’s house yet but going to my mom’s house is a reminder of living in the present.

I asked her to take me to Simon’s Restaurant in Bolivar because they have local faire and, you know, that’s kinda my thing. After several years of wanting to go, we finally did. And then I requested to watch Wild since I’m reading the book (after watching How to Be Single back in April).

Here’s the thing though: I got to spend that meal with my family, including my grandmother. Y’all- I’m 40. How lucky am I that my grandmother is still alive? I put the phone down. Talking to my grandma, to my mom, Mike, and Bre was more important that what was happening on Facebook. It allowed me to lived in the moment and gave me a huge sense of gratitude.

Family Gives You Hope for a Brighter Future

One of the best parts about being with my family these last few days and knowing that I have more moments with family coming is seeing all the nieces and nephews, their little squishy faces learning from my brothers and sisters.

They get so excited when they are with us; even if it’s being shy and then refusing to go home unless being told they are moving to Texas to live with us. How could I not smile?

I go back to the beautiful post and remind myself that they are the reason I am going to keep pushing forward, even if I have moments of wanting to give up. I can’t. My girls are counting on me and so are they. I cannot for them to all come visit me, to have a house full of the people who mean the most in the world to me.

Wrapping It Up

Sometimes it’s just the text that says “How was this moment?” that turns into, “How was today?”

Sometimes it’s knowing that there is love- even from a distance (Grandma W, I’m talking directly to you here. I can’t wait to meet you when I get to heaven).

I pray that beauty includes the other thing that makes my heart happy: Being with extended family more than ever before.